I'm so fucking centered right now
Just cropdusted the office
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize