My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
