There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
