It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
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I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
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Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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