dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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