plz talk dirty to me
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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