Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
