I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Two words: nipple clamps
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