You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
