the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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