no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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