Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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