I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
