well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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