bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
