Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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