i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO