I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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