This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts