Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.

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(843): Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call. http://tfl.nu/3web

Replies (69) Good night (5697) Bad night (1180)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked

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(609): So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked http://tfl.nu/vy3r

Replies (3) Good night (647) Bad night (3024)
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(440): View more from Ohio

he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.

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(440): he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever. http://tfl.nu/ykgr

Replies (64) Good night (9920) Bad night (1117)
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(214): View more from Texas

Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.

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(214): Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me. http://tfl.nu/94g1

Replies (9) Good night (716) Bad night (3226)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.

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(908): All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me. http://tfl.nu/8azw

Replies (16) Good night (830) Bad night (3509)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Walk of Shame today included voting.

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(734): Walk of Shame today included voting. http://tfl.nu/glwh

Replies (26) Good night (6178) Bad night (961)
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(208): View more from Idaho

You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?

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(208): You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right? http://tfl.nu/dxzt

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(734): View more from Michigan

It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.

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(734): It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth. http://tfl.nu/kgmn

Replies (24) Good night (4846) Bad night (767)
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(480): View more from Arizona

So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?

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(480): So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast? http://tfl.nu/qa47

Replies (3) Good night (1086) Bad night (618)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!

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(309): Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half! http://tfl.nu/uska

Replies (4) Good night (1315) Bad night (557)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.

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(828): Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high. http://tfl.nu/spu2

Replies (1) Good night (760) Bad night (331)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?

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(781): Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station? http://tfl.nu/6qox

Replies (5) Good night (728) Bad night (439)
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(702): View more from Nevada

This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.

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(702): This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there. http://tfl.nu/l8ar

Replies (0) Good night (585) Bad night (423)
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(425): View more from Washington

I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.

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(425): I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me. http://tfl.nu/601h

Replies (5) Good night (312) Bad night (532)
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(904): View more from Florida

Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine

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(904): Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine http://tfl.nu/8y9j

Replies (0) Good night (741) Bad night (363)

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