I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
