Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
