either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize