Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
