I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
