6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
