I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
