If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
