As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
