so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We talked him into tasing himself.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
