Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
