You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i love accidental penises.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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