the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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