he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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