He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We just shotgunned beers for America
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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