The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I didn't notice because vodka
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
