Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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