She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
