You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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