How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
