guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
