i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
this just has baby written all over it
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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