Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
