Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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