you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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