Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
