Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I stole a fireplace last night.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
