just come out here and I will go home with you...
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
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Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
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I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize