Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
