i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
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just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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