My hair reeks of homosexuality.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
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it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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