Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
