you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
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at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
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But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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