Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
