Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
