by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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