Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
