One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
