Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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