I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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