Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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