You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
