4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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