So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
